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Writer's pictureTiya T.

Insecurities are a mf: Season 4 Ep 3 Recap

I feel like I can be honest with you all; this season is hard for me to watch because it is doing an exceptional job of showing how miscommunication can damage friendships and relationships. I like to self-reflect, and I haven't always done everything right or made the right decisions in my past friendships. I make/made mistakes, and I am human. However, I'll be 25 this year, so watching this season of Insecure is hard for me because I always want to scream at the characters and say, "it doesn't have to be this way...Use your words. PLEASE." Its always harder to watch things unfold when you know how you would handle certain situations currently. I'm still going to watch it, though. I didn't wait two years to give up now!


Episode Three, Lowkey Thankful Synopsis via HBO:

While Molly's family celebrates Thanksgiving together, Issa and Ahmal decide to do their own thing. Meanwhile, when Lawrence joins Friendsgiving at Condola's house, the new couple breaks some awkward ground.


SPOILERS BELOW (not that you should even be reading this if you haven't watched the episode)

This episode was FULL OF BULLSHIT from everyone at their big grown age, even Chad (I don't think his fiance is real!), I don't even know where to start. It will be easier to break this episode down by relationship i.e romantic, platonic, and familial.


Lawrence and Condola (i.e Condominium, Condolences, Canola Oil, Consequences, etc.)

Condola rubbed me the wrong fucking way this ENTIRE episode (which isn't hard to do because episodes are only 30 minutes long). The episode opens with Lawrence lying in bed with Condola, and he invites her to spend Thanksgiving with him and his friends since she doesn't have family in the area, but Ms.Condola casually mentions she's hosting a Friendsgiving at her apartment. Lawrence asked, "you want me to come through?" and Condola answered, "sure"...PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND FOLKS. He didn't aggressively insert himself in her plans. Fast forward, while waiting for Condola, Lawrence runs into Issa brunching solo at Condola's favorite lunch spot. They share some banter, and Condola rolls up with the weird energy. Now, I'm not going to knock Condola for being weird even though she and Issa agreed they wouldn't let Lawrence affect their business relationship because it's still new territory.

They're all still figuring out how to flow around each other because all three of them share friendships and professional relationships. However, running Issa out of the place when she was there first was fucking weird. If seeing her is that awkward say hi, and you and Lawrence keep it pushing. Find a table and have lunch as you came there to do, no? She just stared at Issa until she left, and I am not letting ANYONE make me leave a restaurant if I already ordered food.


By the end of the episode, Condola's Friendsgiving is over, and Lawrence learns some new things about Condola through her and her friends i.e. she never wants to be married again, and she may/may not refer to Lawrence as her friend with benefits behind his back.

They get into this heated argument sparked by Condola saying Lawrence invited himself to her Friendsgiving...PAUSE because he did not, and it is wack of her to insinuate that he did. If she didn't want him there, she could have easily said no AT HER BIG GROWN AGE? I don't think it was outlandish for him to want to spend some time with her on a holiday if they've been dating for three months and some change? Lawrence then brings up her never

wanting to get married again and asks her if she's still getting over her ex. This is tricky because although Lawrence was in a long-term relationship with Issa, he has never been married or has been divorced. When you marry someone, you had the intention of spending your life with them, so if Condola is still working through some things after going through a divorce, then that is complicated hence Condola not answering his question. Instead, she says she is the one that should be worried about exes and brings up Issa and Lawrence joking in the restaurant and having the same friends. Again, very tricky because he just got out of a serious relationship with this woman...OF COURSE, THERE IS STILL A COMFORTABILITY BETWEEN THEM. ARE YOU DUMB? Then she asked him if she hadn't cheated, would they still be together? Um, yes, dumbass. YOU KNOW THE VIBES!


Issa and Molly

Both of them are really pissing me off. Let's start there. Use your words gotdamn.

So, we've been watching Issa and Molly painfully skirt around the fact their friendship has been off for months now. We see them shopping for Thanksgiving, and of course, they get into an argument. It all starts when Molly asks Issa if she should invite Andrew to Thanksgiving dinner with her family and Issa jokes (always damn joking when shit not funny. It's not funny all the time Issa) that Molly is doing too much and old Molly will scare him off. Similar to Lawrence and Condola, I don't think it would have been overkill to invite Andrew over for Thanksgiving, its a holiday. Anyway, this answer VISIBLY hurts Molly, but Issa aloof jokey ass keeps walking and does not notice, resulting in Molly throwing a jab at her saying she was fucking TSA bae for weed and contraband. They then accuse each other of coming for the other's neck, which frustrated me badly because they could have easily avoided this. Like I've said before, they never address when they hurt each other's feelings, and they are too old not to know when they are doing this. They want each other to take the other seriously because they're both trying to do better in different ways, but if they're always in defense mode, half-listening or just not being real with each other...that's never going to happen. I noticed when Issa hurts Molly; it is rarely maliciously...she's literally just talking/joking with no filter because that's her best friend, so she is saying the first thing to come to mind. It's not always at the best time, which Issa has got to get together. However,

when Molly hurts Issa, it is maliciously most of the time, like what the fuck? That comment was so unnecessary and ugly. When Molly was going through that whole thing with Dro, Issa could have shitted on her so many times, ESPECIALLY when she was mad at her dad for doing the same thing?! Instead, Issa offered her two cents and let her make her own decisions. Molly is always looking down on Issa or criticizing her choices, and I think we are seeing that dynamic change i.e., Issa is getting tired of that shit. Issa and Molly have been friends since college, so it was a friendship born out of proximity. Friendships like that tend to strain over time because you start to recognize how different you are from the other person. I don't want to see their friendship end, but both of them need to be humble and vulnerable, or it will. Use your words.


Lawrence and Issa

Earlier I mentioned how Lawrence ran into Issa and easily slipped into their regular routine joking with each other until Condola interrupted them. This isn't the first time since they've broken up that they fall back into their friendship, and yes, it is friendship because they genuinely get along with each other. Issa ended up spending Thanksgiving with her brother Ahmal at a Mexcian restaurant (LIT) after their mother had to spend the day in the hospital with her long-term boyfriend.

She admits that she feels Condola is getting the version of Lawrence that she wished she had gotten when they were together, saying she got the man with potential while Condola is reaping all the benefits of his time with her. There are people on this internet saying Issa is wrong and immature to feel that way and I can't fathom why? You mean to tell me that if you invest five years in a relationship, you wouldn't feel any way that your ex finally decided to get his shit together after y'all called it quits. I think people are trying to make it about Issa being jealous of Condola when she is upset over the perceived time wasted and her mistakes by not being more vocal with her needs. She was waiting on Lawrence to wake up and be the man she knew he could be, but its also partly on her because she never voiced any of that to him. We know Issa and confrontation is never her thing so those last two and a half years when he sat on the couch, and she passively-aggressively moved around him should have been the time for her to say:

Hey, look dawg, what you on? I need you to believe in you like I believe in you and get the fuck off the couch. You cannot sit here and wallow in sadness. I need you to step up.

She didn't do that leading to resentment and anger resulting in her cheating with Daniel and them breaking up. It also doesn't help that Lawrence is dating Condola, who is someone that is wildly successful in her own right...a level Issa is trying to get too. Of course, it wouldn't be Insecure if they didn't end with the mess, hence post-argument with Condola - Lawrence swiping up on Issa's Instagram story hinting at them communicating more. Now, you all are quick to say they'll get back together (I mean I like them together so I wouldn't mind), but I don't think its that easy. It never is with them.


Well, this is the end of my episode recap. Let me know your thoughts on this week's episode and predictions for next week's episode!


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