I think it is time we celebrate the magic that is Black love being portrayed on tv & film. I can't explain the amount of sheer joy episode eight of season four of Insecure gave me as it followed Issa and Lawrence catching up with each other to talk about their lives, careers, past mistakes, and what makes each of them happy. We knew an episode like this was coming from small interactions between these two over the season and given their history, this meetup went exactly how I thought it would. They laughed, joked, were uncomfortably honest, and real with each other. It was a beautifully written episode, so shout out to Natasha Rothwell! It made me think about how much I appreciate seeing Black love represented LOUDLY on tv and film. Plus, this is an Issa and Lawrence stan blog.
If it is unclear, I absolutely adore a good Black romance. Even though I like to pretend I don't have feelings, and I don't need anyone, ever, these depictions always get me! I mean, look at the material! I genuinely appreciate how our love is portrayed on screen now more than ever. It's multi-faceted. Black storytellers seem to capture our humor, pain, honesty, vulnerability, ego, pride, every emotion effortlessly to tell our story, and I love that. No one can articulate this quite like we can, as we are the architects of our own story! You can always tell when non-black people write black characters and stories, and I'm not a fan. It doesn't entirely fold over - if anything...the shit is tone-deaf, mediocre at best. I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to point out some of my favorite elements of popular black love stories and why others can't compare! Also, to be clear...Black love depictions have been around from the beginning. The first film to depict Black people in a romantic light was released in 1898, called Something Good Negro Kiss. As you can guess, it upset many people because then, and even now, black people are mostly placed as comedians, offensive characters, or just props on the screen. Of course, people were like, "How dare these negroes show love and joy?".
The footage was discovered and restored later added to the US Library of Congress National Film Registry in 2018. Then @kyalbr on Twitter added the score from If Beale Street Could Talk to the footage and I think my heart grew two sizes. Y'all know I love Beale Street...I wrote a post on the film the day I saw it! BUT ANYWHO, let's start:
Vulnerability
Speaking for myself ( and maybe for you as well because this is a safe space), I do not like being vulnerable because I hate to be disappointed. So, dating can be tricky for me at times because I struggle with knowingly allowing myself to be receptive to the emotions that come with that. In my head, I'm like...you never could never hurt me because I simply won't allow it stupid LMAO (I know...Therapy for Black Girls, contact me). However, that's what I love most about seeing Black love on the tv screen.
Being vulnerable is a beautiful thing because you allow your partner to see you in the barest way possible. Essentially, you can't hide from them so it's like you're allowing intimacy that's beyond a physical standpoint. That is why movies like Beyond the Lights or Moonlight hit me so hard. In Beyond the Lights, the main character, Noni, falls in love with her security detail, Kaz, who helps her shed the facade that was forced on her by her mother and record label to find her true self and her voice as an artist.
In Moonlight, the main character, Chiron, didn't grow up in the most ideal environment but he met people throughout his life like his mentor Juan, and his friend/love interest Kevin, that gave him the space to be himself and live his truth. Both of these characters were allowed to be vulnerable in relationships that ultimately help them become who they wanted to be all along. Vulnerability is so important in relationships. Imagine thinking you're in love with someone and they don't even really know you? You really hate to see it.
Humor
If black folks don't do anything else, please believe they are roasting their significant others. You are not exempt and you are going to get these jokes. My favorite thing to do is joke and laugh, so to see Black love captured on screen doing this very thing is the content I signed up for. The world is so heavy for black people and beats us down daily - it is super important that our love stories capture us being light and carefree because we need that for mental and emotional well-being. Some shows highlighting humor through Black love that instantly come to mind are Living Single, My Wife and Kids, and Atlanta. Living Single is one of the greatest television shows to ever air. I watched this show every day when I came home from school FOR YEARS. It was so well done with real, complex characters who were successful across industries. I see why the "creators” of Friends stole the premise of the show. One of the story arcs we got to see was Synclaire and Overton slowly fall in love and get married while giving us some of the funniest moments of the show!
My Wife and Kids is better than a lot of the popular black sitcoms y'all go up for and I think it doesn't get the credit it deserves. Tisha Campell-Martin and Damon Wayans, who portray Jay and Michael Kyle, have perfect comedic timing. They pair so well together and the jokes they get off, not only on each other but their kids as well, are hilarious. Plus they do it with love. It always comes from a good place and that's the beauty of it. You gon laugh and you gon learn a lesson. 10/10 recommend.
Then you have Atlanta. When Atlanta first premiered, we were not familiar with the majority of the cast outside of the lead, Donald Glover aka Childish Gambino. Although Atlanta is about Earn (Glover), a college dropout managing his cousin Alfred's rap career as "Paper Boi", it also explores the dynamics of Earn's relationship with his daughter's mother, Vanessa (Zazie Beetz). I like that Earn and Van are comfortable enough with each other that she can tease him about how much of a fuck he is and him not really lash out at her about because...she is not lying.
The ugly parts (Honesty/Pain/Discomfort/Ego)
Relationships are hard. I think people get caught up in the appearance of them because they want to look good, they want to give the illusion everything is perfect or show how resilient their bond is. In reality, you can love someone with your whole heart but they will disappoint you, they will do the wrong thing or handle something differently than you would've. Quite frankly, your partner will fuck up...and that's okay if that love is healthy enough to withstand the ugly parts. I feel like most portrayals of Black couples go through some form of drama that enforce how important it is to check your ego, and be honest with your partner. No matter how much discomfort or pain it brings, it'll bring them together. My favorite movies that show Black couples getting through the ugly parts are A Different World, Brown Sugar, and Creed. We all know Dwayne and Whitley's relationship was up and down for the first four seasons of the show! They went from denying their feelings for one another to breaking up and getting back together (when Dwayne crashed Whitley's wedding...CLASSIC SCENE) and starting a family. We watched them grow into the couple they became and I appreciated watching their relationship evolve.
Brown Sugar is a messy movie. It is also my favorite Black romance movie ever. It has the right amount of humor, seriouness, and use of hip-hop as a symbol for the main characters, Sidney and Dre's (played by Taye Diggs and Sanaa Lathan) relationship is so fucking me man. Ugh *chef's kiss*. The ugly parts in this movie happen to be that Dre is engaged and later married to Reese (Nicole Ari Parker ) and Sidney is dating Kelby (Boris Kodjoe) WHEN THEY ARE CLEARLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER. I hate when the characters waste their time and mine, just listen to me through the screen y'all.
We all know Creed is a spinoff from the Rocky franchise starring Michael B. Jordan as Adonis Creed, so you're probably wondering what's romantic about it? Well, in the first Creed movie, Adonis started dating Bianca and in Creed II, they became engaged and found out that Bianca is pregnant. It's important to know Bianca has a progressive hearing disorder, which she passed on to their daughter. You guys, my heart was so sad during the scene where the baby's hearing was being tested because Bianca was so afraid their child would be disabled because of her and that fear was realized. However, they both come to terms with it and prepare to raise her as best they can because as Rocky said, "don't feel sorry for her because she ain't feeling sorry for herself." Look at Rocky comforting folks!
Joy
Y'all remember when Neyo said, "I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together," that's how I feel about Black joy in general but even more so when looking at Black couples on screen. It brings me immense happiness to see black people being joyful and genuinely happy in real life so you know I go up when I see it on my tv. Major examples of this joy include Just Wright and The Cosby Show. Now, if you haven't seen Just Wright you are doing yourself a disservice because Queen Latifah is the lead and we support all things Queen Latifah over here. The movie follows Queen Latifah who plays Leslie, physical therapist, who falls in love with Scott, a professional basketball player who is going through rehab for a major injury. Now, I'm not saying the movie isn't predictable, what I am saying is that I enjoy watching them fall in love every time I watch it.
Last but certainly not least, I don't think I could do an ode to black love on screen and not pay flowers to the Clair and Cliff Huxtable of The Cosby Show. I know that Bill Cosby shocked and disappointed all of us by his past actions, but that isn't what this post is about – The Cosby Show is one of the greatest sitcoms to ever broadcast in American history. It featured loving Black parents who let their kids make mistakes, but never let them fall without being there to pick them up...as a team. That's literally what people strive for when they envision a healthy marriage and family. There are moments when you watch The Cosby show and you probably see your parents, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles or even your neighbors reflected back at you. That is what a show is supposed to do. For the sake of flowers, the Cosby show gave me one of the most joyful moments in tv history when the family honored Grandma and Grandpa Huxtable on their 49th Wedding anniversary:
I think what does it for me, amongst all these things, is that Hollywood and pop culture likes to tell us what we are and what we can offer the world. These characters tell stories that take that narrative and turn it on its head. We are full, complex, whole people whether they choose to greenlight us or not. Our stories hold value and can resonate across genres.
By no means is this a comprehensive list of Black couples that have cemented their place in our culture and our hearts, just a few of my favorites. If you have some you want to add, leave a comment!
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